I don't like cricket

Oh no! I love it Oh yeah! As 10cc so eloquently put it. Before you go Uh! Cricket! Booooring! Let me whey your appetite with my 2 favourite bits of sledging! No 1 is Glen McGrath (Australia) bowling to Zimbabwe's no 11 Eddo Brandes who was a bit of a heavy chap, McGrath frustrated as Brandes enquired "Why are you so fat?" Brandes replied " Cos every time I shag your wife she gives me a biscuit!" Burn!!! No 2 is Ian Botham (England) v Rodney Marsh (Australia) Marsh enquired "How's your wife and my kids?" Botham replied "The wife is fine but the kids are retarded!" Ouch!!! Cricket is the quintessential English game and here's how it's played. 

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game! Got that good next time I'll explain string theory! Still think it's boring watch Shane Warne's ball of the century and the high lights of the 2005 Ashes Series you won't be disappointed!